Mindfulness: The Power of Words
To Heal or Hurt ... it's all in your hands... oops ... 'your words'
It’s been a few days
now, since a colleague remarked ‘You,
should mind the tone of your voice ...’ or words to that effect! Despite my
rebuttal, ‘it could be mutual’ and a
quick private word with her, immediately after the incident - we ‘assured’ each
other ‘no offence meant and none taken’ ... but I must admit long after that, her
‘words’ still had me in knots!
It was not hard to
imagine the multiple ways that such a situation could ‘degenerate’ into, I came
up with the following: ‘Ok, you’ve had
your say, I’ll get back with you...’, ‘Seethe
with anger’, ‘Feel insulted/slighted’
...
I also realized the
reactions to such situations significantly differ according to contexts - when
‘played out before an audience’ and
when ‘sans an audience’.
What, if any, is the
learning from such ‘sensitive situations’, it is not as if such ‘situations’
will not arise in the future, and most particularly, keeping in mind the
dangers of such situations ‘degenerating’, and the potential to set off a
vicious ‘eye for an eye’ cycle.
‘You,
should mind the tone of your voice...’ the implied ‘imperative’ and the
‘modal’ ... could connote tones and meanings quite unintended by the speaker,
but acknowledging the ‘dangerous possibilities’ ... here’s an attempt to
‘rephrase’ the same ‘accusatory phrase’!
‘You know ... your tone comes across to me ... as....’ or ‘When I hear the tone of your voice ... I
feel ...’, or ‘I am not quite sure,
how I feel, hearing the tone of your voice ...’ And all of a sudden, such a
proactive, ‘I’ squarely places and accepts the responsibility for what ‘I’ am
hearing and ‘my attempts to describe my feelings’ and removes the ‘sting’ of
the ‘accusatory’, ‘you’ and ‘should ...’ ‘The
Power of Words’ to ‘hurt or heal’ … have immense implications!
Not quite sure, whether it
was Mohandas Gandhi? or
Louis Fischer? or Henry Powell Spring? or Martin Luther King? who famously
remarked, ‘An Eye for an Eye Will Make the Whole World Blind’ – I, for one certainly do not fancy a ‘blind
world’ given the ‘tools’ at our disposal to ‘see better’! Labels: communication, mindfulness, Reflexivity, revenge